This is the time of year when I'm most glad I went to Muhlenberg, or more generally, a school like Muhlenberg. We looked forward to the Saturday football games, cheered for our friends, talked about the game for maybe ten minutes after it was over, and then we went on with our lives. We were not part of all those things that, in my mind, make big-time college football the most annoying sport in our culture.
I covered it for a couple years at Sports Illustrated; pretty much hated it. The overblown hype, the back-slapping alumni, the general feeling that, if my college football team is good, then, by definition, everything else about my college is good. Penn State fans — some of them, now — are guilty of this. They're part of the "we don't cheat but everybody else cheats" crowd. Look, on balance, I think Penn State does a better job than most of trying to follow the rules. That goes back to Joe Paterno, who was more cognizant than most of his peers about getting kids to study and stay in school. But Penn State is like every other major football program; the players are there to play football. It's a professional football organization much more than it's a college football team.
Now, Joe Pa happened to be a much kinder and more intelligent man than most college football coaches, but as a group, college football coaches are generally unbearable. At powerful programs, they're invariably not just the most important person at the university, they're the most important person in the state. And they act like it. The most unbearable member of Congress at the moment (and man, is that a big statement) is one Tommy Tubberville, the senior senator from the great state of Alabama, and the former head coach of Auburn. Making him a senator because he went 4-3 against Alabama's Lou Saban is like hiring someone as your personal chef because he knows how to mow your lawn.
Two other annoyances of college football: the Heisman Trophy and postseason Bowls.
The Heisman is easily the most overblown award in sports. It's presented with all the solemnity of a papal selection; I'm surprised the announcer doesn't emit a wisp of white smoke when he says the winner. It should be called the Best Quarterback, Running Back, Wide Receiver Trophy, since they're the only positions it ever goes to. The only exception to that since 2000 was last year, when it was won by Colorado cornerback Travis Hunter, who is also a wide receiver.
And Bowls. Besides the one that decides the National Championship, and don't get me started on that system, they are nothing but a way to pack money into the coffers of brand advertisers and schools. Why would you surrender money to go to a game that means absolutely nothing? The season's over. Take a cruise. Visit a national park. Bowls are a money grab, pure and simple. Remember what used to be the Holiday Bowl? Of course you don't. Over the years, it has been the Sea World Holiday Bowl, the Thrifty Car Rental Holiday Bowl, the Plymouth Holiday Bowl, the Culligan Holiday Bowl, the Pacific Life Holiday Bowl, the Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl, the National University Holiday Bowl, the National Funding Holiday Bowl, and the National San Diego County Credit Union Holiday Bowl. Can we take something like that seriously?
Look, Penn State's good this year. I'm happy about that. But the coverage of the Nittany Lions is still way overblown. Meanwhile, the small college programs around here get zero or little publicity because the bandwidth has been sucked up by Penn State. There's a team around here you know nothing about that's earned six straight postseason bids, played in the national semifinals and national quarterfinals within the last six years, and has made Coach Nate Milne National Division III Coach of the Year. So, if you ask me about Penn State football, my answer is gonna be, "Go Muhls!"
