Fact Bag

Aug 31, 2018
Originally published on August 31, 2018 6:03 pm

Ophira and Jonathan are back at it again with the Fact Bag! What's that? A trivia question is pulled from its depths. A debate ensues. The answer is revealed. End scene.

Heard on Rose Byrne-ing Down The House.

Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

While Nikki and Maura get ready for the final round, it's time for us to play a game. This is called Fact Bag. I have a bag of trivia questions. Jonathan and I do not know the answers to these questions. Each question is written on an envelope. I'm going to read the question. Jonathan and I will briefly discuss. Then we will open up the envelope and find out the real answer.

JONATHAN COULTON: OK.

EISENBERG: Here we go. In 2014, McDonald's created a new variety of broccoli - what...

COULTON: Doesn't seem possible.

EISENBERG: ...To include in its kids' meals with a flavor designed to appeal to children. What did it taste like?

COULTON: I assume the answer is not broccoli.

EISENBERG: Yeah. I'm going to assume it tasted like something - kale. No, that wouldn't be something...

COULTON: No. Well, what do kids like, candy? It didn't taste like candy. That's...

EISENBERG: Didn't taste like candy.

COULTON: That's monstrous. You would never do that.

EISENBERG: A new variety of...

COULTON: Ketchup.

EISENBERG: Ketchup.

COULTON: (Laughter).

EISENBERG: Yeah, green ketchup. It tasted like a quarter pounder.

COULTON: Tasted like a quarter pounder, tasted like cheese - macaroni and cheese.

EISENBERG: Or those apple pies. That's what I like at a McDonald's.

COULTON: Going to be hot dogs - tasted like hot dogs.

EISENBERG: OK, should we decide on one?

COULTON: Yeah, OK.

EISENBERG: I'm going to say it tasted like an apple.

COULTON: An apple.

EISENBERG: Seriously, I'm going to say that...

COULTON: Like a - they tasted more like a fruit than a vegetable.

EISENBERG: That's right.

COULTON: I like that. I like the way that sounds.

EISENBERG: OK, let's see what Fact Bag says. In 2014, this new variety - OK, it tasted like - oh, the natural flavor for a broccoli, bubble gum.

UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE: Oh.

COULTON: Oh, come on. That is a terrible idea.

EISENBERG: Guess what. Kids, being humans, were too confused during the taste tests.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: So it was never introduced into McDonald's restaurants.

COULTON: I don't care for that at all.

EISENBERG: I know.

COULTON: Disgusting.

EISENBERG: Fact bag.

COULTON: Fact Bag number two.

EISENBERG: "Harry Potter" fans know the evil wizard Lord Voldemort's real name is Tom Marvolo Riddle. However, in the French version of the books, Voldemort has a different real name. What is it, and why was it changed?

COULTON: His name in France is monsieur qu'est-ce qui se passe.

EISENBERG: (Laughter) You know what? This is what I'm going to say. In the French version, it has been changed because I bet there's someone in France known as Tom Marvolo Riddle.

COULTON: Or it could be a dirty word of some kind.

EISENBERG: Tom Marvolo - qu'est-ce qui se passe indeed.

COULTON: Marvolo Riddle.

EISENBERG: (Laughter) Marvolo - don't come to me with your Marvolo. OK. Yeah. You think it's a dirty thing?

COULTON: I think it's a dirty thing. Listen; we're not going to guess what the new one is (laughter).

EISENBERG: We're never going to guess what the new one is. There's no way. I'm going to say he's a real person.

COULTON: OK.

EISENBERG: You're going to say...

COULTON: I'm going to say it's a dirty word of some kind.

EISENBERG: Some sort of dirty thing?

COULTON: Or an unfortunate word.

EISENBERG: It, like, refers to something that is unsavory or unfortunate...

COULTON: You don't want a...

EISENBERG: Filthy.

COULTON: ...Character named that.

EISENBERG: All right. Let's find out...

COULTON: Back hair.

EISENBERG: ...What's going on. Tom Marvolo Riddle is an anagram of I am Lord Voldemort.

COULTON: Ah.

EISENBERG: This anagram only works in English. In French, I am Lord Voldemort is translated to je suis Voldemort. So the anagram was changed to Tom Elvis Jedusor.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: I feel like they phoned that last part in a little bit.

EISENBERG: All right. This is our last fact bag.

COULTON: Last fact bag.

EISENBERG: In 1996, Australian scientists discovered that koalas are similar to humans in what way that might confuse crime scene investigators? It's got to be fingerprints. It's got to be fingerprints. Wait a second. That can't be right.

COULTON: They are serial killers.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Right. That would confuse them.

COULTON: I think you're right. I think that they have fingerprints that are similar to people.

EISENBERG: Like...

COULTON: And so when you're at a crime scene, you're, like, well, it's reasonable doubt. You're going (laughter), your honor, these could easily be koala prints.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: It's got to be fingerprints.

COULTON: They've got fingerprints.

EISENBERG: All right, let's see if we're right. Koalas, crime - yep, we're right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: They have human-like fingerprints. And here's the mysterious little extra bit. It is unclear why koalas have fingerprints since most tree-climbing animals do not.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Could the answer be murder?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: All right, the fact bag is now empty. Thank you, fact bag. Give it up for fact bag.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.